The meaning of memory of old thoughts is beyond what is said in the English dictionary at least for me.
My memory river runs through the lanes of Kolkata in India.
When I heard at New Delhi the then working place for me that Kolkata has been an extrovert’s city since long where people never stop talking. I realized it and experienced it over three decades of my association with Kolkata.
Undoubtedly every stage of my life in Kolkata moves like a reel. Just I give a pause to it and trying to rewind my thoughts.
I was in search of silence amidst music and smiles in the face of visitors on 3rd and 4th March 2012. In silence I was strolling down my memory lane. Either you call it as mental yoga or an experiment with truth. Such process is undoubtedly a test of time. I am sure memories will tell you no lies. It is common that memory, applauds and claps in silence. Its’ agenda is always muted. I experienced it.
The day was 2nd Jan 1988. I took the same road where his wedding reception venue is located to reach “Tiny Tots” and admitted my eldest son to the play school. I still remember how he held my hands firmly while crossing the zebra lines on the road. I escorted him and travelled on the same street to various school activities for more than 15 long years. Less I thought at that time that his wedding would also take place at a place located on the same street.
My memory lane takes me to recollect how on Reports Day I used to meet his class teachers to collect his Progress Report Card. On school annual day functions I gave parents’ attendance. I smiled and shook hands with his class teachers.
For his ‘Section wise’ group photos he posed in school uniform seated firmly.
That picture showed many students and a class teacher along with school Principal.
Today I could not believe my eyes that how things have changed for sweet and better. He has grown up. He stands with his wife with a Colgate smile in the centre surrounded by teachers who taught him good manners and moral courage. They are all responding to photographers’ cheese with a smile pose for the wedding reception photos. No camera under the sun in this world can capture my moods and feelings on that day. Unbelievable has happened in my life. Literally I was touching the sky.
My English professor when I was in college some 40 years ago used to say that memory marks time elapsed and a heartbeat drawn on virtual maps. I don’t know whether my memory has its own web address or not, but definitely it has its own feelings.
This I experienced on the next day when I accompanied him to see him off at the airport.
He was two years old baby in 1986 when I left for Europe for a professional call through the same airport. He came to see me off accompanied by his mother and grand father. He was adamant and crying to go with me to Europe.
He was crying and throwing lots of tantrums at the air port lobby. His grand father and his mother consoled him with toys, ice-cream and toffees.
Then I told him not to cry.
On Monday at the same airport I could not hold back my emotions. Tears drizzled around my cheeks when I said be happy and good bye.
Now my son consoled me at the same airport lobby not to shed tears.
His growth prosperity and peaceful life and happiness and good character are going to be my life’s bonuses.
Any amount of ice creams and toffees could not control my emotions.
What else can I say except my memory hurts my gut and heart?